Evening Hosts Take Aim At Trump's New 'Gold Card' Residency Plan

TV's leading entertainers spent their broadcast mocking former President Donald Trump's just launched visa initiative, called the "golden visa," describing it as a blatant cash-for-residency arrangement for the wealthy.

Stephen Colbert's Sarcastic Take

Kicking off his broadcast, Stephen Colbert presented a sardonic holiday jingle targeting the commander-in-chief. "He is making a list, reviewing it twice, before giving that list to the agents at ICE," he intoned. "Trump ... spoils each thing he touches."

The subject was the controversial plan that enables international nationals to buy U.S. legal status for an investment of a million dollars, with a "premium" tier for 5 million. The program's website pledges approval "in record time."

"A brief note here to affluent foreigners: prior to you pony up, have you considered Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He pointed out that the program is also intended to "squeeze cash" from companies wishing to hire skilled workers, with large payments. "That's a lot of fees, though if you enroll, you also get free accommodation at a property of your choosing – as long as it's the that one hotel," he continued.

"The most thorough screening the government has before done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to ensure these individuals absolutely qualify to be in America."

"That is important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "First question: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Commentary

On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the visa program the "U.S. Access Express Card."

"This is a card that will allow wealthy international individuals to live here," he said. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get legal visitor status, you get a route to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one serious crime of your choosing."

"Maybe it's time to change that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your tired masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel mocked the simplicity of the application, noting it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"Indeed, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Affordability Issues

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's slipping approval ratings during economic worries. "The public gave Donald Trump a another term since they were angry about the economy," he noted.

This week, in a effort to address prices, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a display of grocery items, and behaved peculiarly to boxes of cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a ages."

"He is so extremely weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by targeting right-leaning media coverage of Trump's financial performance. "Maybe rather than voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to what FIFA did," he remarked.